I received an email a couple of days ago that was so full of pain and anguish and something that I think a lot of people are going through that I think it needs to be discussed here for everybody to read and respond to.

So here is the email:

Dear SalesGuy,

I have been involved in Referral Marketing for three years now in three different organizations and I have had enough. I am a small business owner in a busy and densely populated area of Southern New Jersey that has literally thousands of people in my target audience. I sell a product that is specifically geared towards helping the homeowner so would be considered a Business-to-Consumer product.

I have spent literally hundreds and hundreds of hours and over $5,000 of my business’s money as part of these networking groups and have only gotten 27 referrals and $1,800 in revenue from them in the last three years. You state that referral marketing works so why is it not working for me?

I have built some pretty strong friendships with people in my groups, I change my elevator speech every week and give a variety of 10 minute presentations with lots of props and practice and have gotten rave reviews for them. I have given more than 200 qualified referrals to my fellow members and have done everything I can think of to increase the number and quality of referrals I am receiving.

I know that it takes time, effort and honesty to build the relationships and the trust for people to refer their customers, friends and family to me but after three years I am getting really, really frustrated.

If this thing is so good then why is it not working for me?

Sincerely,

Frustrated Networker.

Wow can you hear the pain, anguish and frustration in that letter? Can you feel this person’s pain? Can you relate?

So what did I say to him? Here’s my response:

Dear Frustrated,

First let me just say that I am really sorry you are in this situation and that I completely empathize with where you are at.

Second, let me ask you some questions to help me to help you:

• Do you meet with fellow members at least twice a year to get an update from them on what is new in their business and fill them in on what’s new in your business?
• Do you periodically email or snail each of them with specials, updated information and anything business related that you are doing?
• Do you ask for very specific, detailed referrals? To illustrate: do you just say I am looking for homeowners? Or do you say who do you know that just had a baby? That just refinanced their home? Who just bought new carpet? Who has a senior parent living with them? Just had a child enter or graduate from college?
• Do you remember other networkers special dates? Birthdays, anniversaries, etc…
• Do you talk more about you and your business than the other person and their business?
• Do you do the absolute minimum required in your networking group or do you go above and beyond by attending every optional event, or opportunity?
• Do you give yourself more positive exposure within the group by volunteering for leadership positions?
• Do you give each customer (especially those from referral partners) the absolute best quality customer service you can possibly give?

If referral networking isn’t working for you there are just two reasons:

1. You aren’t doing it right
2. Your business doesn’t do well from referral marketing.

To be quite honest, I haven’t found a business yet that doesn’t do well in the networking arena which means that it’s most likely you that is the problem. That might seem harsh but its true and I’m not here to hold your hand I’m here to help you make money.

So if you are in the same boat as “Frustrated Networker” then read my list of questions and be brutally honest with yourself when you answer those questions. If you do that you will be well on the way to being more successful in networking.

More to come on this subject…until then.

The SalesGuy